auc admission essay samples

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Benefits Of Education From Auc Admission Essay

Type of paper: Admission Essay

Topic: Business , Future , Choice , University , Success , Knowledge , Students , Education

Published: 01/25/2020

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Throughout my life, I have come across different scenarios that require critical thinking and coming up with conclusive and sustainable solutions. Amongst these decisions that I had to make is one that holds my entire future. I have always believed that life involves a variety of choices and a well chosen choice indicates who I stand for, where I want to be and why and how I want to get there. It is the capability to make the right decisions that decide my future in academics and professionalism. Despite the wide variety of selection of universities, AUC is my preferred choice. This decision is based out of educational quality, location, its diversity, and student life in the university. What makes AUC outstanding as compared to other universities is its quality and excellence in education. The university has qualified faculties who offer what is currently needed in the job market, and offers practical knowledge, which assists students to put what they learn into practice. I will be graduating this year from the American International School in Cairo, one of the top rated schools in Cairo. I consider my stay in the school as a tool that has shaped my future in matters of what I want to achieve. The school has offered me the basic initials that I need to compose together in order to mould and become successful in the future. The school has introduced me to business concepts, which I need to work on in order to achieve my dream of becoming a successful business man. My zeal in business developed from a family perspective; my father owns a business, and it is from this background that my passion towards the discipline generated. However, the skills that I have gained from the business and in my educational background are not sufficient for me to become successful. I still need to further my knowledge to the extent of making critical entrepreneurial decisions, which would impact business at a personal and economy’s level. The American University in Cairo is the perfect institution to suit my ambitions. It provides high education, offers valid certificates, and is known worldwide. From this university, I intend not only to be taught but also to learn to live, make choices, and specialize in my field of interest. The cultural diversity of the institutions also adds to my choice. Various nationalities with different backgrounds in the school will offer the best environment to interact, integrate, and learn to respect other people’s decision. The business environment involves a mix of strategies, ideas, and cultures of consumption. Integrating with different cultures in the school will boost my ability in making crucial decisions on consumer’s behavior, trends, and mixes, which are critical elements of success in business. Entrepreneurship is gaining enormous apprehension in the business community, and public sector. Many governments have pushed for promotion of business management styles, which attribute to business success. However, lack of expertise in the field has always lagged the growth of the sector. Undertaking this course, in this institution, will be an honor to this demand. It will act as a personal growth strategy as well as a development in the national economy. With the theoretical knowledge and practical skills that I will gain in the university, I will contribute to the growth of business in this country, and boost its economic status.

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The American University in Cairo and I possess a common vision. I, like American University in Cairo, constantly work to receive an exceptional education that qualifies to cope with both the professional and the personal side of life as well as overcoming any obstacle in unique manners. Through all the searches I have made about the universities in Cairo, I realized that the American University in Cairo is the best choice to achieve my desires, due to the highly efficient facilities and well-respected reputation AUC has. The American University in Cairo owns one of the best enhanced technologies in science, offers the highest levels of education, and the best of all is that the educational process there improve the critical thinking ability in their students. Not to forget the most motivating advantage which is that I have the best opportunities of studying abroad, and developing the researching skills. Throughout my tour in asking the graduated students about the most interesting aspects of the university, most of them agreed with the fact that American university in Cairo possesses the best and the most developed technologies that can meet my requirements as skillfully student. The highest level of education is what every student need, but that it is not my highest ambitions. I am looking for the techniques that motivate and enhance the ability of leadership in my personality and to avoid any obstacles in a professional way. In addition, this unique ways of teaching is required to stimulate the valued skills such as; applying, analyzing, synthesizing, and evaluating information so the right judgment is taken. As mentioned in the American University in Cairo website, the education you offer inspires the students to: become responsible leaders, communicate effectively, work independently and in teams, and behave professionally. Researching skills is what differentiate between the universities and students. As one of my goals is to add something unique to the specialty that I have chosen, critical thinking, as well as touching with the last science authority, enhances my confidence and supports me to get my goal. American University in Cairo has the credibility and commitment that allow me to continue studying for higher education anywhere around the world. And to do so a good researching skills is required, evolve my researching skills I have to join the community of the American University in Cairo due to the engagement in various of conference, exhibitions, competitions and research internship, and the most attractive is the huge library that contain rare books and online excess to e-books and full-text journals. As a result of the good reputation and the great educational services in the American university in Cairo, I have high ambitions that I will fulfill my goals and objectives and may even attain higher level of education. All in all, the American university in Cairo provides the highest level of teaching and enhances the critical way of thinking within their students as well as improving researching skills that qualifies me to acquire my PhD degree from the best and most respectful universities.

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My smart choice ; " Whay are you applying for AUC?"

EF_Team5 - / 1585   Jun 5, 2008   #2 Try using the full title of the university as much as possible, and the abbreviation only minimally; this increases the formality of your essay, showing your respect for the university. You do a good job describing the reasons you want to attend the campus, and in great detail. Spend a little time explaining what area of study you intend on attending, and why the university fulfills your specific academic goals; this will ensure those reading your essay that you are a good fit for the school, and vice versa.

• Even Better

This is what admissions officers really want to read in college essays

The important thing is not to overthink it.

by Allie Volpe

One of the most memorable essays college admissions counselor Alexis White worked on with a student wasn’t about a harrowing personal challenge or a rewarding volunteering experience. “It started with the sentence ‘My hair arrives in a room before I do,’” says White, the founder and director of the consultancy firm Alexis College Expert. “It just was the best. And everybody who reads it loves it.”

College application essays have an infamous reputation for being one of the most difficult aspects of the application process. But it remains a crucial way to share details about your life and interests — a way to distinguish yourself beyond your grades, test scores, and extracurricular activities, even in the era of ChatGPT (more on that later).

Vox’s guide to college application season

You got into college. How will you pay for it?

Applying to college? Seven current students on how to stand out and stay sane.

Admissions officers are looking to be entertained when reading application essays, White says. Of course, students should use their essay to showcase their curiosities, character, and point of view, but contrary to popular belief, these personal statements don’t need to recount devastating moments of painful growth. “You can be fun,” White says. “You don’t have to have trauma.”

There are a number of essays students will need to write as a part of their college application. Over seven million students apply to college through the Common App , a streamlined platform that allows students to apply to multiple schools at once. There, students write a personal statement, usually between 500 and 650 words , centered on a student’s identity, beliefs, accomplishments, and interests, and can choose from among seven prompts for the 2024–25 application season. One prompt even allows the applicant to write about a topic of their choice. “Write the essay that your heart wants to write,” says college essay coach Cassandra Hsiao .

Individual colleges also ask for additional shorter pieces ( around 250 words ), also known as supplemental essays, which may ask applicants to explain why they’re applying to this specific school, and about their academic interests and extracurricular activities.

With so much to write, students need to dedicate serious time and effort — White suggests at least eight weeks — into crafting compelling and effective essays. Here’s what college essay pros want applicants to know.

Make sure your essays are unique to you

Students often put pressure on themselves to have a one-of-a-kind essay topic, White says. There are very few unique concepts, she continues, but what will set you apart is your way into the essay. Start strong with an attention-grabbing first sentence, experts say, that immediately hooks the reader.

Can’t decide what to write? Try these exercises.

Look around your house or room and pick 10 items that spark a memory — like a soccer trophy or a painting you made — and write them down. Or recount a typical day in your life in detail, from the music you listen to in the shower to the snack you grab before bed.

The point, Brooks says, is to hone in on things that you may think of as humdrum, but that you can use to tell a story about yourself.

Don’t discount minor details when thinking about extracurriculars and accomplishments. “When my kids are stuck, it’s a lot of chatting about things that they think don’t matter and then we typically come to something really great,” says Tyler.

Another tactic is picking five adjectives would you use to describe yourself, suggests White. Expand on each with an experience or memory.

Focus on developing a unique lens through which to see an event in your life, with an original point of view. These can be small moments, says Stacey Brook, the founder and chief adviser at College Essay Advisors . For example, one student she worked with wrote an essay about bonding with her mother during drives to gymnastics practice. After the student got her license and no longer had these moments with her mother, she wrote, she felt a sense of loss. “She was reflecting on what those drives meant to her and what it means to grow up and to gain things and lose them at the same time,” Brook says. “That’s the tiniest moment, the smallest slice of life out of which you can make an incredible essay.”

Even if you’re writing about a common topic, like school sports or lessons learned from an adult in your life, one way to differentiate your essay is to add dialogue, Hsiao says. “It’s in the specificity that only you can write because you went through that,” she says.

Avoid regurgitating your resume, Hsaio continues. Instead, lead the reader through a narrative arc showing your growth. You don’t need to explicitly state what you learned from the experience. Instead, use descriptive, scene-setting language — about how tense you were during that big game or your excitement when you stepped onto the stage — that shows how you’re different on the other side.

Again, you don’t need to share the worst thing that’s ever happened to you — or try to dramatize your life to make it seem more challenging than it is — but help the reader understand the effort you put in to get a new club off the ground, for example. “What you went through objectively might be really small on a global scale,” Hsiao says, “but because it felt big to you and I care about you as the writer, it will feel big to me.”

Don’t even think about copying from ChatGPT (or other generative AI)

While Brook understands the appeal of ChatGPT, experts say don’t use it to write your essay. College application reviewers will be able to tell.

The purpose of these pieces is to display your personality and writing ability and bots will never produce a unique, personalized essay. These chatbots use a style and tone that is immediately identifiable to readers, one that is rife with cliches and an awkward cadence, experts say.

Appropriate uses of generative AI include spell and grammar check or as a thesaurus. “Once you start pulling full paragraphs, you’re cheating,” White says. “It’s not your work.”

Tailor supplemental essays to each school

Depending on the school, you may be asked to write one or two shorter supplemental essays . These prompts may have similar themes, about your academic interests or how you relate to the people around you . For these essays, experts say you can reuse answers for multiple schools — but make sure you revise your answers to be specific to each school.

To ensure you’re tackling supplemental essays efficiently, Brook says to collect all of the prompts for the schools you’re applying to and see where they overlap. Hsiao suggests brainstorming three or four activities, obsessions or aspects of your life you know you want to showcase and try to match these topics to essay prompts. This can be anything from an extracurricular to your favorite TV show. “We are prioritizing what is important in our lives and then showcasing that by mixing and matching per school for the supplemental essay questions,” she says. For example, if you plan on writing about your future major for one college, adapt that essay to each school. However, make sure you’re researching each university and adding details about their specific program to your piece, Brook says.

For essays asking why you want to attend that specific college, ensure your answers are unmistakably catered to that school. “‘I love Delaware because I can’t wait to go to football games and pledge a sorority, and I’m excited about the business school.’ That is not going [cut it] because you could say that about Rutgers,” says Kyra Tyler , a senior director and college admissions consultant at Bright Horizons College Coach. Instead, pepper your answer with details about school traditions, an honors program you hope to join, interesting research opportunities or what you observed when you went on a tour (whether in person or virtual), Tyler says.

Tell a vivid story — and showcase your writing ability

Not only do your essays need to be of substance, but they should showcase style, too.

Tyler suggests students avoid metaphor: Don’t talk about caring for your younger sibling in the context of a Bluey episode — be straightforward. (“Kids can’t get away from [metaphors],” Tyler says, “and what happens is they get stuck under them, and they can’t write.”) You’ll want to write vividly using concrete examples instead of plainly spelling everything out, White says. For instance, if you were a camp counselor who helped a nervous child come out of their shell, write a scene showing the camper interacting with other kids rather than simply saying the camper was less reserved.

Write as if you were talking to your best friend, Tyler says. Avoid slang terms, but let your personality come through your writing. Try reading your essay aloud to see if it sounds like you.

Don’t forget about the basics, like good grammar, proper spelling, and word choice (make sure you’re not repeating similar words and phrases). You don’t need to focus on the five-paragraph structure, Hsiao says. Just make sure you’re telling a compelling story. Have a trusted adult, like a teacher or parent, read your essay to help point out style and structural issues you may have missed.

After you’ve completed a draft, set it aside for a few days, come back to it with fresh eyes for revisions, Tyler says.

College application essays are your chance to share who you were, who you are, and how this university will shape who you hope to be, Hsaio says. Focus on topics you want admissions officers to know and let your voice and passion carry the essay.

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How to Write a Winning Common App Essay for 2024-2025 ( +Examples)

Overwhelmed by the pressure to really make your Common App Essay for a Pre-Med Application stand out? You’re not alone!

In fact, for many aspirant doctors, the Common App Essay may stand between them and the gates to medical school. But what if we told you it could be your ticket to proving your unique strengths and passion for medicine? 

In this all-in guide, you’ll learn all the right strategies to write a Common App Essay that gets noticed for all the right reasons, so let’s get into it. We will talk about digging deeper into what you have, showing growth, and showing the skills and qualities that turn you into a great candidate. So, let’s attack this essay!

Schedule a Free Consultation with Jeck Westin Now!

What is the Common Application?

The Common Application, or the Common App , is a full-blown college application system that allows thousands of students to apply to thousands of universities and colleges nationwide all at once with one application. This program is usedin use by over 900 different organizations around the world, making it a very significant part of the college admission process.

Most importantly, the common application is crucial in the admission process for students bound for college because it hastens the whole application process, saving a lot of time and energy that students can use for other purposes. More importantly, one gets a chance to sell their skills, experiences, and dreams to one college and quite a number.

Why You Want to Write an Application Essay for the Common App?

The Common App Essay is one of the most vital sections of an application. It provides an applicant with a platform to sell their personality, character, and passion to the admissions committee. It’s a place where you can show who you are beyond grades and test scores.It’s a place where you can make the grades and test scores disappear and really show who you are.

Competitive programs, such as pre-med, require an essay like the Common App because most applicants share the same academic performance level. For competitive programs, an essay such as the Common App is highly essential since most applicants share the same academic performance. In a well-crafted essay, you make a difference between your application and others, showing your commitment to medicine.

The Common App Essay: Tips

It has to have a compelling storyline regarding personal growth and where you are headed. Here are some tips for a college application essay:

• Consider the prompt: Make sure you understand your assignment before you begin writing.
• Be authenticreal: Write about what you honestly care about.
• Show, don’t tell: Use specific examples and anecdotes in this essay to show rather than tell.
• Proofread: Ensure your essay is free from all grammar and typographical errors.

Common Application Essay Prompts 2024–2025

The Common App has, meanwhile, confirmed that their main essay prompts for the 2024-2025 application cycle will not change from this year. The prompts are:

• Reflecting on something that someone has done for you that made you happy or thankful
• Discussing an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth
• Describing a topic, idea, or concept that captivates you
• Sharing an essay on any topic of your choice

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

• The lessons we take from obstacles can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
• Think of a time when you questioned a belief or idea. What was the urge to think? What was the outcome?
• Think about something that has been done in your favor and has made you feel happy or grateful unexpectedly. How does this, or has this, gratitude affected or driven you?
• Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
• Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
• Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

See Also: Complete MCAT Course by Jack Westin (+Free Trial)

Pre-write your Common App Essay

Before you write a Common App Essay, you get to pre-write. This is when you brainstorm on topics, jot down ideas obtained from free-writing, and then set up a timeline for the actual writing of the essay.

Ways to Come Up with Compelling

Mind Mapping : This is a visual technique that helps in structuring information, hence helping you in analysis, understanding, synthesis, remembering, and generating new ideas with your information. In every great idea, its power is manifest in its simplicity. 

Information is structured in a mind map according to how your brain actually works, as opposed to information structured likein a manner similar to traditional note-taking or linear text. 

To prepare a mind map, start with the main idea or topic and locate it at the center. From this concept, draw various lines branching out and write down all related sub-topics or ideas on these branches. From each sub-topic, you can branch out and record more detailed items. This method can, therefore, be effective in realizing the hierarchy and inter-relations of different ideas.

Listing : This is an easy method of brainstorming that requires you to list ideas spontaneously. Remember, do not assess or check the ideas you are coming up with. Just allow your mind to wander freely and take note of the ideas. In this stage, the quantity of the ideas ought to matter rather than the quality. 

You would be surprised at what you come up with on your list without editing your thoughts. After you feel you have a sufficient list, you can move on to check which ideas you might need to consider.

Role-Playing: It involves thinking from varied personalities or roles. How would you address the topic if you were a teacher, a scientist, or a historian—or even as simple as a child? That helps you put your topic through different perspectives and can lead to formulating many ideas. It’s an excellent way to stretch your mind and turn it in different directions from what you usually do, and that just might be the way to come up with some really original, insightful ideas.

Freewriting : This is the same as free association but is the act of writing continuously for a long time—without stopping to self-edit for grammar, punctuation, or spelling. Its purpose is to allow your mind to continue to flow with ideas and make free explorations without judgment. This might help you break into potential topics and find new and surprising ways to write your essay.

Schedule to Write Your Common App Essay

Brainstorming and topic selection (2-4 weeks):.

• Identify your interests and what you are passionate about.
• Review literature on a variety of subjects that correspond to your interests.
• NarrowPerhaps you will have to bring your choices down to two or three tentative topics.
• Analyze each topic under your knowledge, findings from the college or scholarship site, and research.
• Select the topic that feels most relevant to you and allows you to match your aspirations to the application.

Outline and First Draft (1 week):

• Thoughtfully outline your essay: include an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
• Make sure that your ideas are logically organized and that your structure is clear.
• Begin the materialization of your first draft from the outline.
• Put your thoughts on paper, and at this stage, it does not matter; this is not a grammar exercise.

Revision (2-3 weeks):

• Take a break from the essay for a while so you can view it with a fresh pair of eyes.
• Obtain approval of the work by the source you depend on—such as teachers, mentors, or peers.
• Please apply good suggestions from the feedback that is being provided.
• Now rewrite your essay in clear organizational cohesion and coherence.
• Elaborate on your argument, provide more concrete evidence, and link paragraphs so that there is an argument throughout.

Final Edits (3-5 days):

• Make sure to proofread your essay carefully; it is error-free regarding grammar, typography, and format.
• Pay attention to an entire essay structure: introduction, body paragraphs, conclusion.
• Verify that the paper complies with the word counts, structure, and use of referencing outlined for the target program.
• Make final adjustments for quality and polish in the essay’s readability and the overall effect.

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See Also: Medical School Application Timeline for 2024-2025

How to Choose Your Common App Essay Topic?

In your Common App Essay, choosing the right topic is one of the most important steps in the whole process of applying. The topic you pick must reflect your own experiences and values, but at the same time, it must be in harmony with your pre-med aspirations and fit in with the program.

Always remember that your Common App essay has to be outstanding to be you. Here are a few tips to help you:

Align with Your Aspirations

• Pick the area within medicine in which you are passionate. This can be a personal experience that really drove you to want to become a doctor, something you overcame that made you know you wanted to be a doctor, or a description of what being a doctor means to you.
• Describe the personal experiences that led to your career aspirations and explain why you see medicine as a fit for you.

Show Off Your Fit

• This essay should show the reader why you would be a great candidate to be in a pre-med program.
• Highlight your relevant coursework, research, clinical experiences, and extracurricular activities that characterize your commitment to medicine.
• Mention how your skills, qualities, and values relate to the program’s mission and goals.
• Authenticity sings to the admissions officers. Pick a topic that really means something to you, and passion will reverberate in your writing.
• Share from your personal experience and perspective only. Avoid clichés or generics.

Reflect Personal Development

• Admissions officers value growth in a personal sense. Select a topic where you can ideally show growth and how something changes for you over time.
• Describe a challenge or obstacle you overcame, what it taught you, and how it made you resilient.
• Highlight how your experiences have contributed in general to the growth of your personality and career.

Show Empathy and Service

• Medicine is a service profession, and it is very important to show your humane nature and have an urge to help other people.
• Share an example of what you have done to make a difference in someone’s life. This could be being a volunteer, community service, or mentorship. Explain how these experiences have built your compassion and desire to serve others.

Be Concise and Well-Organized

• Write an organized and concise essay. You shouldn’t have much more than 650 words, and your ideas should be put forth logically.
• Use simple, clear, and to-the-point language free from unnecessary jargon or technical terms.

Examples of Strong Common App Essay Topics

Here are some examples of strong Common App Essay topics from past pre-med applicants:

• One applicant wrote about their experience volunteering at a local hospital, where they developed a deep understanding of the healthcare system and the role of doctors in patient care.
• Another applicant shared their journey of overcoming a serious illness. This experience deepened their appreciation for medicine and solidified their decision to pursue a career as a doctor.
• An applicant described a pivotal moment when they had to make a difficult ethical decision. This experience highlighted their moral compass, a crucial quality for anyone entering the medical field.

See Also: How to Write a Perfect Medical School Personal Statement

How to Write Your Common App Essay

The Common App Essay is a crucial component of your college application, and choosing the right type of essay is essential to convey your story and qualifications effectively. Here are the four main types of essays you could consider:

• Definition: A narrative essay tells a story about a personal experience.
• Suitability: It’s an excellent choice if you want to share a significant event or moment that has shaped who you are.
• A story about overcoming a challenge that taught you resilience.
• A narrative about a memorable trip that broadened your perspectives.
• An account of a time when you realized your passion for a particular subject or activity.
• Definition: A descriptive essay focuses on describing a person, place, event, or object in detail.
• Suitability: It’s suitable if you want to paint a vivid picture of something meaningful to you.
• A detailed description of your favorite childhood spot.
• A vivid portrayal of a person who has significantly influenced your life.
• A sensory-rich description of a significant event you witnessed.
• Definition: An expository essay provides an explanation or analysis of a topic.
• Suitability: It’s a good choice if you want to delve into a complex issue or idea.
• An explanation of a scientific concept you find fascinating.
• An analysis of a historical event and its implications.
• An exploration of a social issue you’re passionate about.
• Definition: An argumentative essay presents a well-reasoned argument about a specific topic.
• Suitability: It’s appropriate if you want to express a strong opinion or viewpoint.
• An argument for or against a particular policy or social change.
• A persuasive essay advocating for a specific cause you believe in.
• A critical analysis of a work of literature or art.

When choosing a type of essay, consider the essay prompt, your personal experiences, and the message you want to convey. Each type of essay offers unique strengths and allows you to showcase different aspects of your personality, experiences, and writing skills.

Creating an Outline for an Essay

Outlining is a fundamental skill in essay writing that helps organize your thoughts, ensure a coherent structure, and create a persuasive argument. Here’s how you can use a simple outline as the backbone for your essay:

Introduction

• Hook: Start with an engaginginteresting hook to capture the reader’s interest and curiosity. Consider using a surprising fact, a thought-provoking question, or an engaging scenario.
• Overview: Provide a brief overview of the topic and its importance. This sets the context and relevance of your essay.
• Thesis Statement: Conclude with a strong thesis statement that clearly states your main argument or claim. The thesis is the backbone of the essay, so it should be specific, arguable, and relevant to the topic.

Body Paragraphs

• Topic Sentence: Dedicate each body paragraph to a specific aspect or supporting point that reinforces your thesis. Start with a topic sentence that introduces the paragraph’s main idea and relates it to your thesis.
• Development: Develop your ideas by providing evidence, examples, or logical reasoning to support your claims. Consider using a mix of sources, such as research, personal experiences, and expert opinions, to strengthen your argument.
• Conclusion Sentence: End each paragraph with a concluding sentence summarizing the main point and smoothly transitioning to the next paragraph.
• Summary: Summarize the key points discussed in the body paragraphs, reminding the reader of your main arguments.
• Restate Thesis: Restate your thesis freshly and concisely, reinforcing your central claim.
• Closing Thought: Conclude with a closing thought that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. This could be a call to action, a thought-provoking question, or a personal reflection related to your introduction.

Common App Essay Mistakes to Avoid

In the realm of college applications, the personal essay holds significant importance. It allows admission officers to glimpse an applicant’s character, values, and potential. However, even the most promising candidates can stumble upon common pitfalls that undermine their essays’ effectiveness. Here are some prevalent app essay mistakes to steer clear of:

• Off-Topic Responses: The essay prompt is your guiding star. Straying from it can lead to a disjointed and confusing essay that fails to showcase your strengths. Before you begin writing, thoroughly understand the prompt and ensure that you respond to it directlyyour response directly addresses its requirements.
• Poor Grammar and Spelling: Attention to detail matters. Grammatical errors and misspellings can detract from your message and create a negative impression. Proofread your essay meticulously, checking for any punctuation, grammar, or spelling mistakes. Consider enlisting the help of a trusted teacher, friend, or family member for an additional layer of review.
• Lack of Focus: A well-structured essay has a clear focus and flows logically from one point to the next. Avoid rambling or including irrelevant information. Instead, select a specific theme or experience you can explore in-depth, providing rich details and insights.
• Overused Phrases and Clichés: Clichéd expressions may sound familiar, but they often appear unoriginal and generic. Strive for authenticity and individuality in your writing. Draw upon your unique experiences and perspectives to create a compelling and memorable essay.
• Lack of Personal Connection: Admission officers want to get to know you, the real you. Avoid presenting a polished but impersonal essay. Share your vulnerabilities, triumphs, and growth. Be genuine and honest in your writing, allowing your authentic voice to shine.
• Unclear Structure : A well-organized essay guides the reader through your thoughts and ideas. Use clear transitions to connect paragraphs and ensure a smooth flow from one point to the next. A strong introduction and conclusion are also essential for framing your essay and leaving a lasting impression.
• Exaggeration or Fabrication: While it’s important to highlight your strengths, be mindful of the line between embellishment and outright fabrication. Admission officers can easily detect insincerity, and exaggeration can damage your credibility.
• Ignoring the Word Limit: Word limits allow admission officers to glimpse, overwhelm the reader, and suggest an inability to follow instructions. Be selective in your content and focus on conveying your message concisely and effectively.
• Lack of Editing and Proofreading: A polished essay results from meticulous editing and proofreading. Take time to revise and refine your work, checking for any errors or areas that could be improved. Consider reading your essay aloud to catch any awkward phrasing or grammatical issues.
• Rushing the Process: Writing a compelling college essay takes time and effort. Avoid the temptation to rush through it. Give yourself ample time to brainstorm, write, and revise your essay. The quality of your final product will reflect the care and attention you put into the process.

Se Is A Medical School Personal Sta mistakestement?

Common App Essay Examples

From a young age, I was always fascinated by the intricacies of the human body. The idea that such a complex system could function seamlessly fascinated me. However, it wasn’t until my sophomore year of high school, when I took an advanced biology course , that I realized my passion for medicine.

This course introduced meIn this course, I was introduced to the world of human anatomy and physiology. I was captivated by how cells worked together to maintain homeostasis, how the nervous system communicated with the rest of the body, and how the immune system fought off pathogens. I spent countless hours studying, not out of obligation but out of genuine interest . I was not just learning but discovering a world I wanted to explore further.

This interest led me to volunteer at our local hospital, where I saw the practical application of the concepts I had learned in class. I observed doctors diagnosing diseases, performing surgeries, and, most importantly, interacting with patients. I saw their impact on people’s lives, not just through their medical expertise but also through their compassion and empathy . This experience solidified my decision to pursue a career in medicine.

However, I also realized that medicine is not just about understanding the human body or treating diseases. It’s about connecting with patients, understanding their experiences , and helping them navigate through their health challenges. It’s about being a source of comfort in times of distress and a beacon of hope in times of despair.

As I embark on my journey to become a doctor, I am unnot deterred by the long years of study or the challenges that lie ahead. Instead, I am excited about the opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives . I am eager to learn not just about the human body but also about the human spirit. I am ready to embrace the challenges, celebrate the victories, and, most importantly, provide care and comfort to those in need.

In conclusion, my passion for medicine stems from my fascination with the human body , my desire to make a difference, and my experiences in the hospital. I am confident that these experiences and my unwavering commitment will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond. I look forward to the opportunity to contribute to and learn from the medical community.

Growing up in a small town, I often accompanied my mother, a community nurse, on her visits to patients. I was fascinated by her ability to alleviate people’s suffering and comfortbring comfort to them . This early exposure to the impact of healthcare sparked my interest in medicine.

One particular incident stands out in my memory. We visited an elderly man living alone who had been diagnosed with diabetes. He was struggling to manage his condition due to a lack of understanding about the disease. I watched as my mother patiently explained the importance of diet control and regular medication. Over time, his health improved significantly. This experience taught me that medicine is not just about treating symptoms; it’s about educating and empowering patients to take care of their own health.

In high school, I excelled in science, particularly biology. AsThe more I learned about the human body and its intricate mechanisms, my interest in medicine grew. I started volunteering at the local hospital, where I had the opportunity to observe various medical procedures and interact with patients. These experiences further solidified my decision to pursue a career in medicine.

However, I also realized that being a good doctor is not just about having excellent medical knowledge. It’s about being empathetic and understanding towards your patients. It’s about being able to communicate effectively and making patients feel comfortable. It’s about being patient and resilient in the face of challenges.

As I embark on my journey to medical school, I am fully aware of the long and challenging path ahead. But I am also excited about the opportunity to learn and grow, both professionally and personally. I am eager to acquire the skills and knowledge necessary to make a difference in people’s lives , just like my mother did.

So, my passion for medicine is driven by a combination of my love for science, my firsthand experiences with healthcare, and my desire to make a positive impact on people’s lives drives my passion for medicine. I am confident that these motivations will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond.

Ever since I was a child, I was always intrigued by the puzzles and mysteries of the world. But the most fascinating puzzle to me was the human body. The complexity and precision with which it operates sparked my interest in biology and, ultimately, medicine.

During my junior year of high school, I had the opportunity to take an advanced placement biology course. This course allowed me to delve deeper into the intricacies of the human body. I was particularly captivated by the immune system , a complex network that silently works to protect us from countless pathogens every day.

This fascination led me to volunteer at a local clinic, where I saw the impact of medicine on people’s lives. I witnessed doctors diagnosing and treating a variety of illnesses, from common colds to chronic diseases. I saw the relief on patients’ faces when they received treatment and their gratitude towards their doctors. These experiences solidified my decision to pursue a career in medicine.

However, I also realized that being a doctor is not just about diagnosing and treating diseases. It’s about listening to patients, understanding their concerns, and reassuring them. It’s about being a source of hope in their time of need.

As I prepare to embark on my journey to medical school, I am excited about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. I am eager to learn more about the human body, to hone my skills, and to serve my community. I am ready to dedicate myself to a career in medicine and, to solve the puzzle that has fascinated me since childhood.

In conclusion, my passion for medicine stems from my fascination with the human body, my experiences at the clinic, and my desire to help others. These motivations will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond.

Throughout my life, I have always been drawn to the mysteries of science, but I was most captivated by the mystery of the human body.. But it was the mystery of the human body, the most complex system of all, that captivated me the most. This fascination, coupled with my desire to serve others , led me to pursue a medical career.

In my junior year of high school, I volunteered at a local health clinic . There, I saw firsthand the profound impact that healthcare professionals could have on individuals and communities. I was particularly moved by a doctor who went above and beyond to provide compassionate care to underserved patients. His dedication to his patients and his commitment to equity in healthcare deeply inspired me.

This experience motivated me to delve deeper into the field of medicine. I took advanced courses in biology and chemistry, seeking to understand the scientific principles underlying human health and disease. I also conducted a research project on the effects of diet and exercise on heart health, which further solidified my interest in medicine.

However, I also realized that being a doctor is not just about deeply understanding science. It’s about connecting with patients on a human level , understanding their experiences and concerns, and helping them navigate their health journeys. It’s about being a source of comfort and hope in their time of need.

As I prepare to embark on my journey to medical school, I am excited about the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead. I am eager to learn, to grow, and to contribute to the field of medicine . I am ready to dedicate myself to a career combining my love for science and my passion for helping others.

In conclusion, my journey to medicine has been shaped by my fascination with the human body, my experiences in healthcare, and my desire to make a positive impact on people’s lives. I am confident that these experiences and motivations will guide me through my journey in medical school and beyond.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: what is the word length for the common app essay.

The Common App Essay should be within the 250-650 words range—so it’s essential to stick with this limit. But the truth is that quality is way more important than quantity: make every word count!

Q: Can I write on a general topic?

Yes, you can. It’s really not about the subject itself but about how you write about it. Even a very simple topic can stand out either by the way it is viewed or by the reflections on insights.

Q: Should I write about my achievements?

While it’s okay to boast a little and enumerate your achievements, your priority is to describeabove all, it comes down to revealing your experiences and growth in the Common App Essay. It is the one chance you get to show who you are beyond the grades and scores.

Q: How should I proofread the essay for the Common App?

Proofreading goes hand in hand with the writing process. Here are some tips:

• Take a Break: Finish writing, sleep, and then proofread. You’re more likely to catch errors with fresh eyes.
• Read Aloud: Print your essay and read it aloud; you will pick up all the awkward sentences and grammar errors.
• Check for Clarity: This essay needs to be crystal clear and comprehensible. Do not take it for granted that the reader will know what you mean.
• Let Someone Else Read It: Have someone else read your essay and give you feedback and suggestions.

Q: How can I get help with my Common App Essay?

If you realize that you are struggling with your essay, there is no harm in seeking help:

• School Counselors or Teachers: They can offer advice and review support for your essay.
• Writing Centers: Most schools have writing centers with free tutoring services.
• Online Resources: Numerous online resources and services can offer essay advice and editing services.

This guide provided you with the essential techniques to write a stand-out Common App Essay, especially if you are applying as a pre-med student.

• Unearthing Your Story: Delve into those experiences and unearth a very interesting one that shows your passion for medicine. Highlight a key moment, volunteer experience, or significant instance where you just knew this was the road to take.
• Demonstrating Growth: Show how your experiences have shaped you—highlight how they have deepened your commitment to becoming a physician.
• Show Your Skills: Don’t just say it. Elaborate on your skills and support your statements with concrete examples. Weave in relevant details of coursework, research projects, and clinical experiences and show dedication to the field.
• Show Quality: Speak beyond credentials. Show that you are caring, compassionate, and resilient through your experiences.

Do You Need the Help of a Specialist?

Jack Westin offers professional MCAT tutoring and guidance in crafting the best possible application. Our tutors are all experts who can provide professional input for writing so you can come up with a more refined, powerful essay that indicates your potential as a future doctor.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, what are the most famous college application essays.

Hey guys, I'm trying to get started on my college application essays and I'm feeling a little stuck. Saw some references online about some quite famous ones. Can anyone provide examples or resources on the most famous college application essays that have made an impact on admissions or garnered significant attention? Thanks!

Sure, while it's always important to craft a college application essay that is uniquely your own, it can certainly be helpful to look at successful ones to get a sense of what works. Here are a few pieces that have received attention over the years:

1. "Costco Essay": This essay gained recognition for its engaging and clever storytelling. The applicant frames her intellectual curiosity and wide-ranging interests by chronicling her journey through a Costco store. It made its rounds on the internet due to its originality and humor.

2. "The Calculus of Love": Another well-known essay is the one detailing a student's love for mathematics through specific moments he shared with his girlfriend. The essay brilliantly interweaves his deep passion for math with a captivating love story.

3. "The Saudi Aramco World": An applicant to Yale wrote about growing up reading the 'Saudi Aramco World' magazine, with this unique lens informing his worldview and intention to study history and politics in college. This essay stood out for its authenticity and maturity.

Ensure to use these examples as inspiration, not as templates. Colleges are looking for genuine, fascinating stories that represent your personality, interests, and aspirations. Remember, the 'best' essays are the ones that can only be written by you!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

How to Write a Good Personal Statement for University Admission

  what to write about, you are to write about you.

You are telling the admissions staff why you’re suitable to study at their university or college. It is important to remember you can only write one personal statement – it’s the same for each course you apply for. So, avoid mentioning any universities or colleges by name except if you are being specific.

To get started, consider the following:

• Look at course descriptions and identify the qualities, skills, and experience it requires – you can use these to help you decide what to write about.
• Tell the reader why you’re applying – including your ambitions, what interests you about the subject, the course provider, and higher education.
• Think about what makes you suitable – this could be relevant experience, skills, or achievements you’ve gained from education, work, or other activities.
• Include any clubs or societies you belong to – sporting, creative, or musical.
• Mention any relevant employment experience or volunteering you’ve done.
• If you’ve developed skills, tell them.
• If you took part in a higher education taster course, placement, or summer school, or something similar, include it.

Everything in your personal statement should aim to show that you have the skills and qualities the admission officers/the institutions  are looking for , and convince them to offer you a place on the programme.  Anything that would not do this is not worth being the the write-up .

Before you Start, What should you do?

1. Pick the “right” School

One mistake that many applicants make is that they work hard writing their personal statements, but they don’t put enough time into deciding which school to apply for. This is the wrong approach, and it’s unlikely to produce good results. The admissions staff might read hundreds or thousands of essays to choose suitable applicants. They’ll look at tons of impressive candidates, but for them, what they want to find is someone who’s the right fit.  Before you write your statement, it’s essential to understand why you want to study a particular subject. Whatever the reason, make sure your passion and enthusiasm comes across . Don’t just tell them that you like something, show them that you do. What is it that interests you specifically? Why does it interest you? What have you done to pursue that interest?

Similarly, when writing about relevant experience and achievements, make sure that you give concrete examples of the skills and qualities that they demonstrate.  Don’t be tempted to expand the truth, as it will catch you out in the long run!

Finally,  make sure that you have allowed enough time to check your work before you submit your application .  It’s useful to ask friends and family to help check the statement, but be careful that they don’t try and force you to write it in the way they think it should be written.  It is important that you write it in your own style rather than trying to conform to what someone else thinks is right, as there is no model way to write a personal statement.  When it comes to spelling, however, there is only one ‘right’ way.

2. Write like your personal statement is being graded

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Home — Application Essay — Engineering Schools

Engineering Schools Admission Essays

Engineering school admission essays are a critical component of the application process for aspiring engineers. These essays provide applicants with the opportunity to communicate their qualifications, motivations, and aspirations to the admissions committees.

The Significance of Engineering School Admission Essays

In engineering school admission essays, applicants typically discuss their academic backgrounds, relevant experiences, and their passion for engineering. They often address questions or prompts provided by the schools, which may focus on topics such as their reasons for pursuing engineering, specific areas of interest within the field, or their long-term career goals.

These essays serve as a means for applicants to differentiate themselves from other candidates with similar academic records. They allow applicants to showcase their problem-solving skills, innovation, and commitment to contributing to the field of engineering.

Admissions committees seek applicants who not only have strong academic potential but also demonstrate a genuine enthusiasm for engineering and a clear vision for how they intend to make a positive impact in the field.

In summary, engineering school admission essays play a pivotal role in the application process, allowing aspiring engineers to convey their qualifications and passion for the field. Crafting a well-written and thoughtful essay is essential for standing out in the competitive landscape of engineering school admissions.

Exploring Inspiring Engineering College Essay Examples

A well-chosen essay topic allows you to showcase not only your understanding of engineering principles but also your vision for future innovations. In this competitive sphere, it's crucial to demonstrate your passion for engineering challenges, your creativity in problem-solving, and your eagerness to contribute to technological advancements. The topics listed here span various disciplines of engineering, each offering a unique lens through which to view your experiences, aspirations, and the impact you wish to make in the engineering world. From sustainable development to cutting-edge technology, these topics provide a foundation for you to articulate your role in shaping the future of engineering.

15 Innovative Topics for Engineering Schools Admission Essays

• The Role of Engineers in Sustainable Energy Solutions
• Navigating Ethical Challenges in the Age of AI
• The Future of Biomedical Engineering in Healthcare
• Bridging the Gap: Engineering Solutions for Global Water Scarcity
• The Impact of 3D Printing on Modern Manufacturing
• Autonomous Vehicles: The Road Ahead for Transportation Engineering
• Tackling Climate Change through Environmental Engineering
• The Integration of Robotics in Everyday Life
• Innovation in Civil Engineering for Smart Cities
• The Evolution of Aerospace Engineering in the 21st Century
• Engineering in the World of Internet of Things (IoT)
• The Challenge of Cybersecurity in Software Engineering
• Material Science: Developing Sustainable Building Materials
• Revolutionizing Communication with Telecommunication Engineering
• The Power of Nanoengineering: Prospects and Challenges

10 Compelling Engineering College Essay Examples

Writing an admission essay for an engineering school is an opportunity to highlight how your skills, experiences, and ambitions align with the field of engineering. Whether it's exploring sustainable solutions or the implications of new technologies, each prompt encourages you to reflect on the role of engineers in society and your personal aspirations within this dynamic field. To aid you in this process, we've compiled a list of engineering college essay examples. These examples provide valuable insights into crafting a compelling essay that resonates with admissions committees. Explore these samples to gain inspiration and a better understanding of how to showcase your unique qualifications and passion for engineering in your own admission essay.

• Addressing Global Health Challenges with Biomedical Engineering
• Engineering Solutions for Renewable Energy Adoption
• The Role of Engineers in Mitigating Natural Disasters
• Innovations in Engineering to Combat Climate Change
• Artificial Intelligence: Ethical Considerations and Applications
• The Future of Transportation: Engineering Sustainable Solutions
• Enhancing Communication with Advanced Telecommunication Technologies
• Engineering for Accessibility: Breaking Barriers with Technology
• Tackling the Challenges of Urbanization through Civil Engineering
• The Intersection of Engineering and Entrepreneurship

Engineering Schools Admission Essays: Summary

Selecting the right topic for your engineering school admission essays is a critical step in highlighting your passion and aptitude for the field. When choosing a topic, consider its relevance to current engineering challenges, your personal experiences, and the potential for innovation. Your topic should not only reflect your enthusiasm for engineering but also demonstrate your readiness to contribute to the field. Whether you choose a topic from our list or create your own, your essay should provide a window into your problem-solving mindset and a glimpse of your vision as a future engineer.

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Blog > Essay Examples , UC Essays > 9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

We talk a lot about essays in the college application process. And for good reason. Essays are one of the most critical parts of your application, and the University of California Personal Insight Questions are no different. Even though they’re quite different from personal statements or supplemental essays , UC essays serve a similar purpose: to help admissions officers get to know you and envision you on their campus.

But the tricky thing about UC essays is that they have a very particular style and form. If you don’t write your UC essays in the right way, you risk tanking your application.

Writing them the right way, however, can land you in the admit pile.

Let's start by looking at an example essay. Then we'll dive into the prompts themselves, go over some strategy, and and look at even more examples. Ready?

UC Example Essay - Prompt #7

We’ve got an extra example for Prompt #7: . This one comes from the Essay Academy , our digital college essay course. It’s about a student’s initiative to bring literacy to their community. Take a look:

This writer makes it very clear what community they’re talking about. They state the problem (libraries closing down), their solution (filling the library gap through book club), and the action steps they took to make their community a better place.

Along the way, we clearly see their strengths: they are willing to take initiative and to think critically about what the community needs. The essay also answers the entire prompt and meets the style and tone requirements of UC essays. It’s clear, action-oriented, and to-the-point. Excellent!

Now, let's actually take a look at the prompts.

The UC Personal Insight Question Prompts

The University of California system, which consists of nine campuses across the state, requires students to apply directly via their institutional application portal. That means that you won’t be submitting your Common Application to them or writing school-specific supplemental essays. Instead, you’ll choose four of the following eight prompts to respond to.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Once you have your prompts chosen, the essays themselves should be no greater than 350 words each.

Together, your essays should be different but cohesive enough to tell a fairly complete story of who you are.

Before we get to the examples, we have a few tips to keep you on track.

How to Write the UC Personal Insight Questions

Okay, so we actually have a whole other comprehensive guide to the UC essays that breaks down the process in extreme detail.

So for now, we’ll just go over the essentials.

What’s helpful about the UC PIQs is that we don’t have to guess what admissions officers are looking for—the UCs tell us directly in the Points of Comprehensive Review . Read through all thirteen points, but pay special attention to #10. That’s where your essays will be doing the heaviest lifting.

With that in mind, there are four rules for writing UC essays that you should stick to like glue:

Answer the prompt.

We’ll say it again for the people in the back: answer the prompt! The UC essay prompts ask very specific questions and contain multiple parts. If you misinterpret the prompt, you may end up writing the completely wrong essay.

You might find that diagramming or annotating the prompts helps you pull out the important pieces. Break down what each of your chosen prompts asks you to do, and list out all the questions in order. That way, you’ll make sure you’re not missing anything.

Skip the fluff.

Your personal statement likely has some creative descriptions or metaphors. You may have even incorporated figurative or poetic language into your supplementals. And that’s great. In fact, that’s encouraged (within reason, of course).

But UC essays are different. They’re all business.

Whereas your personal statement might open with an attention-catching hook that describes a scene in vivid detail, your UC essays should jump straight in. In general, your essay should be organized in a clear way that tells a straightforward story.

Focus on action steps.

As we saw in the Points of Comprehensive Review, admissions officers want to learn about how your concrete experiences have shaped you. That means that your essays should revolve around action steps rather than, say, 350 words of intense personal reflection. What those action steps should look like will depend on the prompts you’ve chosen. But by the end of your essay, your admissions officers should know what you’ve done and why.

Show a strength.

In the UC essays, it’s easy to get caught up in the details of the prompt and style of the essay. But don’t lose sight of the purpose of any college essay in the process: to showcase a strength to your admissions officers.

Every UC essay you write should correspond with a specific strength. That might be wisdom, artistry, good judgement, entrepreneurship, leadership—you get the idea.

Let’s say you want one of your essays to demonstrate leadership. The idea isn’t that you come out and say, “This shows that I am a leader.” Instead, by the end of the essay, after reading about everything you’ve done and reflected on, your admissions officers should sit back in their chair and say, “Wow, that student is a leader.” You’ll see what we mean in the examples.

Because of all these golden rules, your UC essays will look quite different than your Common Application essay or supplementals. They’ll probably look quite different from any essay you’ve written.

That’s where examples come in handy. Ready to dive in?

UC Prompt 1: Leadership

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Prompt 1 Example Essay

When we moved to a new neighborhood, my dad always complained about the house next to us. Full of weeds and random objects, it had clearly been neglected(( Notice how, at least compared with common application personal essays, the tone of this essay is much more staid?)) .

I didn’t pay much attention to his complaints until one day when I saw that our neighbor was an elderly man. He was struggling to bring his trash to the bins outside. Suddenly, it all clicked. If taking out the garbage was a challenge, then surely he wasn’t able to do yard work. That’s why it looked neglected.

My dad always taught me that leadership isn’t about giving orders. It’s about doing what needs to be done(( A direct, succinct definition of leadership.)) . With this advice in mind, I decided that I would help our neighbor.

After my realization, I went and knocked on our neighbor’s door. I introduced myself and learned that his name was Hank. When the time was right, I informed him that I’d be cutting our grass the following weekend and would love to cut his as well. Hank initially refused.

Speaking with Hank, I learned that leadership is also about listening to people’s needs(( Showing a lesson from the experience.)) . In that moment, Hank needed to be reassured that I wanted to help. I told him it would be easy for me to cross over to his yard while I had the equipment out. He finally agreed.

The next Saturday, I got to work. The job would be bigger than I expected. All the objects needed to be picked up before I could mow. I decided to enlist the help of my two younger siblings. At first, they said no. But a good leader knows how to inspire, so I told them about Hank and explained why it was important to help. Together, we cleaned up the yard. Now, each time I mow our lawn, I mow Hank’s afterward.

Through this experience, I learned that leadership is about seeing problems and finding solutions. Most importantly, it’s about attitude and kindness(( The author of this essay does a good job staying focused on a clear definition.)) . The neighborhood is grateful that the eyesore is gone, Hank is grateful for the help, and I am grateful for my new friend.

Word Count: 343

UC Essay Checklist

Does the writer convey a strength?

Yes. The writer shows initiative in seeking out the neighbor and willingness to help in all the hard work they did.

Is every part of the prompt answered?

Yes. Since this prompt has an “or,” we know that the writer doesn’t have to meet every single criterion listed. They respond to the “positively influenced others” part of the prompt, which we can see through their interactions with their neighbor.

Does the writer adhere to UC conventions?

Yes. The essay is straightforward and clearly organized. The writer lists action steps in chronological order.

UC Prompt 2: Creativity

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Prompt 2 Example Essay

As a cellist, I express my creativity through music(( Directly answering the prompt up front. )) . Whether I’m playing in a symphony, chamber orchestra, quartet, or solo performance, I bring my art to the world with my instrument. My creativity has transformed me from a small child playing out of tune to a solo artist featured in my state’s youth symphony.

I’ve loved music from a young age, and I began playing the cello when I was six years old. What began as a hobby to keep an energetic child engaged has become my life’s purpose.

At first, I only played along with my private lesson teacher, Ms. Smith. I loved dancing my fingers across the fingerboard, plucking the strings, and making screeching noises with my bow. Ms. Smith told my parents that I had promise but needed to develop discipline. Despite my young age, I listened. By the time I reached middle school, I had made principal cellist in my school’s orchestra. Leading a section of fellow cellists brought my creativity to a whole new level. Not only was I expressing myself through my own music, but I also expressed myself through my leadership. With a subtle nod or an expressive sway, I learned to shape the music those behind me played. I felt most comfortable and free when I was playing my cello.

That feeling only grew as I moved into high school. In ninth grade, I landed my first solo. With it came a new creative sensation: stage fright(( This part of the essay distracts a bit from the main theme.)) . Until then, I’d only experienced positive emotions while playing. I needed to make solo performance more positive. With endless practice and exercises like playing for the public on the sidewalk, I learned that solo performance is simply a way to share my love of music with those around me.

Now, as principal cellist of my state’s youth orchestra, I jump at the chance to perform any solo I can get. Getting to this point has taken me countless late nights practicing in my bedroom and weekends spent in rehearsals. But without my cello to express my creative side, I wouldn’t be me.

Word Count: 347

Yes. The writer is an artist—a musician specifically. Their creativity shines through.

Yes. This prompt is pretty straightforward: “Describe how you express your creative side,” which the writer does by describing their love of the cello. Notice how the writer doesn’t just say they’re creative because they play the cello. They describe that creativity in detail.

Mostly. The short paragraph about stage fright takes us on a slight detour from the prompt. To make this essay even better, the writer could have eliminated that anecdote or reframed it to be more about creative expression.

UC Prompt 3: Talent or Skill

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Prompt 3 Example Essay

How many toes does an armadillo have? What were the main causes of the Crimean War? Who discovered atoms? When my friends or family have questions, they come to me for answers. I am an expert researcher. Although my passion for research began as a fun hobby, it has evolved into one of my greatest skills(( The writer opens with an interesting but not too out-there hook and then gets straight to answering the prompt.)) .

My first real mystery came when I was in ninth grade. My mom wanted to track down an old friend from high school but hadn’t had any luck searching on her own. Having grown up with the internet, I was my mom’s best chance. Not sure where to begin, I took to YouTube tutorials. Using the few family details my mom remembered, I tracked down the friend’s brother then found the friend’s married name(( Here’s a great example of what the skill looks like.)) . Alas–we found her on social media. I felt triumphant as I saw the happiness wash over my mom’s face.

Since then, my skill has grown exponentially(( And here the writer gets at the “developed and demonstrated the talent over time” part of the prompt.)) . Combining my natural curiosity with my love of history, I’ve advanced my research skills by volunteering with my local library for the past two years. I have learned about how keywords and search engines work, practiced cataloging and archiving, and waded my way through the intricacies of the library’s database technology. Suddenly, researching wasn’t just about finding people’s Facebook profiles. It was about having any information I wanted to find at my fingertips.

Access to information is more important now than ever. That’s why I decided to put my research knowledge to work. Part of being a good researcher is teaching others how to access information too, so I founded the SOHS Research Club. We begin each meeting by raising the hardest question we can think of, and I use the projector in the library to walk club members through my research process. Members have all gone on to share their knowledge with their friends and family. The SOHS Research Club has spread information literacy to my whole community(( Gesturing to the greater significance of the skill)) .

Looking ahead to all the ways my research skills will improve in college, I know that I’ll be ready to find an answer for anything.

Word Count: 350

Yes. We see that they’re not only skilled at research but also that they want to support their community.

Yes—but. The prompt asks about your greatest talent or skill . It also asks how you have developed and demonstrated that talent over time. The writer does answer these questions, but I’d like to see more about when the SOHS Research Club took place as part of this development.

Yes. The essay is clear, organized, and to-the-point.

UC Prompt 4: Educational Opportunity or Barrier

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Prompt 4 Example Essay

I jump at any chance to get my hands dirty. I am an aspiring ecologist. I’m lucky enough to live in a college town, so I was elated last semester when a postdoctoral fellow invited me to join her research team(( Okay, looks like this writer is addressing the “how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity” part of the prompt.)) .

Although at first(( Good signposting and transitions. UC essays should be clear and straightforward. This writer easily walks us through the step-by-step of what happened.)) I was intimidated by the prospect of working alongside college students and faculty, I decided to embrace the opportunity to learn what being an ecologist is really like.

The project involved studying Asclepias syriaca populations in my local park. More commonly known as Milkweed, this flower species has a long and important history in North America, particularly for Indigenous people. After learning about its history as a food source, medicine, and critical part of ecological function, I couldn’t wait to be part of the research.

As a research assistant, I helped with data collection. We began by using twine to section off population groups in the park. Then, every week I returned to the populations to collect information about population growth. I counted the number of flowers in the population, and, with a clear ruler, I measured and recorded the height of every individual flower.

The work was tedious. On my hands and knees, I squinted at the millimeter markings, trying to obtain the most accurate measurements possible. Each week, I’d return home with muddy jeans and a smile on my face.

Participating in this research project taught me that being an ecologist is about much more than looking at plants(( Going beyond the research to reflect on lessons learned—nice!)) . It’s also about learning from mentors and engaging with and having respect for the historical context of the plants we study. Being a scientist is also not as glamorous as movies like Jurassic Park lead on. Instead, science requires careful planning, patience, and hard work.

But what I learned the most from this educational opportunity is that science doesn’t exist in some nebulous place. It exists right here in front of me. I look forward to continuing to use science to serve my community.

Word count: 328

Yes. We see their intellectual curiosity and willingness to learn through their research journey.

Yes. We have another “or” prompt! This time they’ve chosen to focus on an “educational opportunity,” which is the research project. They certainly explain how they “took advantage” of it.

Yes. There’s no fluff, just a coherent narrative focused on actions the writer took.

UC Prompt 5: Challenge

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Prompt 5 Example Essay

While most kids fear monsters, my greatest fear has always been tests. Since elementary school, I’ve dealt with incapacitating test anxiety. I’d sit down for a spelling test and faint from anxiety(( Straight into answering the prompt)) . Math tests in middle school would make me run to the bathroom ill. By the time I reached high school, where the testing stakes became even higher, my test anxiety increased exponentially.

More than normal feelings of nervousness or anxiousness, it is a diagnosis I wrestle with daily. Test anxiety caused me to miss a number of tests that I had no option to re-take. It’s caused me to receive abysmal scores on standardized and state tests, which has had repercussions in the classes I’m allowed to take(( Strategically, this was a good prompt for this student to answer because it gives them a way to contextualize any poor grades they earned early in high school. It also gets at the “academic achievement” part of the prompt.)) . My test anxiety has been the greatest challenge of my life. In a school system so reliant on testing, it has completely affected my ability to achieve academically.

By the time I took the PSATs, I couldn’t even move my hand to write my name. I knew something had to change. I reached out for help. My mom knew I had been struggling but didn’t understand the extent of my illness. Together, we contacted my school counselor, who told us how to find a therapist.

With my doctors, I worked to mitigate the effects of my test anxiety on a medical and psychological level(( Action steps! This prompt requires you to talk about the specific steps you took to overcome the challenge. The writer does exactly that in this paragraph.)) . I began taking beta-blockers that helped slow my heart rate, thus tricking my body into being less anxious. Alongside that, I spent months working through the reasons my brain interpreted testing as such a threat. I learned to appreciate my intrinsic value instead of relying on external factors like test scores. And rather than viewing tests as chances to fail, I began to understand them as opportunities to showcase my growth.

Now, after two long years of effort, I can take any test with ease. Since learning how to manage my disorder, I’ve successfully taken my driver’s test, SATs and ACTs, and all seven of my AP exams. I’m looking forward to all the tests I’ll take in college(( And we end on a very positive note that shows lots of growth)) .

Yes—which is difficult with this prompt. The writer doesn’t get bogged down in the challenge of having test anxiety. Instead, they use this prompt as an opportunity to show a strength: resilience to overcome such a difficult problem.

Yes. And this prompt has multiple parts, too. It wants you to describe 1) a challenge, 2) the steps you’ve taken to overcome the challenge, and 3) how the challenge affected your academic achievement. This writer does all three.

Yes. The writer doesn’t provide any poetic descriptions or metaphors. They say what they mean.

UC Prompt 6: Academic Interest

6.  Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt 6 Example Essay

Sitting in front of my baby cousin, I held my hands in front of my face. I quickly snapped them down and exclaimed, “Peek-a-boo!” Delighted, he erupted into laughter. From the perspective of my more developed brain, this game is quite boring. It’s overly repetitive, and the outcome—my face reveal—is basic and consistent. But to a brain that hasn’t yet gone through the sensorimotor phase of development, the game is a downright hoot. What I perceive as boring is actually magic to a baby’s mind. Without the concept of object permanence, my cousin thinks that I disappear completely behind my hands. When my face returns, he marvels as I inexplicably materialize in front of him. It’s no wonder he can play peek-a-boo for hours.

Since I took IB Psychology my sophomore year, I have been fascinated with child psychology(( It takes a paragraph before we get to the prompt (which is too long), but I like the nerdiness the writer shows in the intro)) . No matter when or where we are born, we all undergo similar stages of development that help us understand the world around us. Imagine Albert Einstein chewing on a rock or Genghis Khan taking his first steps. Researching child development unlocks something universal and equalizing about the human experience.

Because of my interest in child psychology, I decided to get more involved with my community. I began by volunteering in a psychology lab at my local university. While there, I get our child participants settled before sessions. Occasionally I get to help with data collection. I also landed a job as a teacher’s aide at a nearby Head Start, where I feed lunches, play, and read. In both of these activities, I’ve learned so much about how to interact with toddlers, to think like they think, and to help them grow into kind and happy children(( This paragraph shows exactly how they’ve furthered their interest.)) .

My school doesn’t offer any additional psychology courses, so I took a community college class this summer. I’m looking forward to taking more advanced psychology classes as a psychology major, and I’m eager to bring the research skills I’ve been developing to one of the UC’s many child development labs. One day, I hope to use all these skills as a child therapist.

Word Count: 348

Yes. The student is very intellectually curious about child development—a perfect strength for this prompt.

Yes. The writer talks about an academic subject, child development, and describes how they advanced that interest through a research lab, classes, and a job at Head Start.

Yes—but. Overall, the essay does a great job adhering to UC essay conventions. But the first paragraph almost doesn’t. As it is, the writer stays focused on telling the story. However, it takes up quite a bit of space in the essay without really conveying much about the writer’s journey. If there were a metaphor or any poetic language in there, it would have been too far. Same goes for the snippet about Einstein and Genghis Khan—it adds personality but is close to overdoing it.

UC Prompt 7: School or Community

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Prompt 7 Example Essay

Nourishing loved ones by cooking for them is one of my biggest passions. But my hobby has become more difficult since moving to a food desert. Food deserts are areas without easy access to grocery stores or healthy foods. These disparities are clear in the school cafeteria, with the majority of students eating processed school lunches or packaged foods brought from home. I decided to do something about it.

The idea came to me one day as I made my way from AP Biology to my cooking elective. We needed a school community garden(( The writer sets up the stakes in the introduction so we truly understand the situation here)) . If we couldn’t access fresh foods in our neighborhood, then we would grow our own. We just needed a space to grow them and money to buy supplies.

I began by finding a spot to plant our garden. My friends and I walked around the entire school and decided that the courtyard would be the perfect place. After explaining my idea to the Assistant Principal, I got permission to proceed.

Next(( This paragraph is full of good action steps)) I raised money for the supplies. With $20 in seed money from my parents, which I promptly paid back, I drew and printed stickers to sell at lunch. The stickers were anthropomorphized vegetables. They cost $0.10 per sticker to make, and I sold them for $1.00 each. Soon enough, I had not only raised enough money to set up the garden, but I had rallied the whole school around my cause. Thirty of my classmates showed up, vegetable stickers on their water bottles, to help me plant the garden.

For the last year, we’ve maintained a spread of seasonal vegetables in the garden. We bring a basket to the cooking elective teacher each week so students can practice cooking with fresh vegetables, and we hold a daily farm stand at lunch(( And we see that they are legitimately improving their community)) . At the stand, students can grab whatever fresh produce they want to add to their lunch.

My school’s garden nourishes my community, and I am nourished every day by the fact that my efforts have made a true difference to those around me.

Word Count: 341

Yes. The writer shows really great initiative and community understanding in their willingness to start a community garden from scratch.

Yes. With only one question, this prompt is pretty straightforward. And the writer’s answer is simple: to make their school community a better place, they made a community garden.

Yes. The writer goes into detail about every step they took to make the community garden come to life. I especially like how the writer goes beyond these details to emphasize how much the community garden impacted the school community.

UC Prompt 8: Additional Information

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Prompt 8 Example Essay

When I posted a TikTok video of myself studying, I didn’t expect anyone but my friends to see it. But within hours, my video had gone viral— tens of thousands of people(( That’s a lot of people. This shows the magnitude and impact of the video.)) saw the carefully-crafted shots I’d taken of my desk setup and homework timelapse. The comment section flooded. People appreciated the work I’d put into curating the perfect desk. They thanked me for inspiring them to get started on their own homework. I was overwhelmed by the response.

At first I felt really shy. What if people from school saw it and made fun of me? I kept questioning myself so much that I completely froze. Finally, one comment caught my attention. It read, “I’ve been having a hard semester and can barely get myself out of bed, let alone to do my homework. But this is so calming! Maybe I’ll try.” That comment made me realize that it didn’t matter what people at my school thought. What mattered was that I loved making that video and it had made an actual difference in the lives of the people who saw it.

And that’s when I decided to make my mark on #StudyTok(( This is a pretty unique topic that wouldn’t have necessarily fit into the other prompt categories, which makes it a good candidate for prompt #8.)) . Since that first video, I’ve posted 318 others and accumulated over 35,000 followers(( More numbers to show impact)) . I’ve had more videos go viral and reach hundreds of thousands of people looking for work inspiration. Even the videos that some would see as “fails” still reach a couple hundred people. That may not be a big deal in the Internet world, but those same people would fill up my high school’s auditorium. My goal for every video is to make my viewers feel relaxed and able to take on whatever work they have to do. It helps me and my viewers complete our work.

These videos have made me more confident and organized, and I can’t wait to continue them in college. When I get an extra assignment or have to stay up late to finish a paper, I become excited instead of frustrated because I know that the little StudyTok community I’ve created will be there right alongside me.(( This conclusion drives home the what “makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the UC” part of the prompt.))

Yes. They show creativity through their video production and leadership through their huge community impact.

Mostly. This prompt is a tricky one to answer because its components aren’t as straightforward as the others. Through such a huge impact, the writer makes it implicitly clear why this story demonstrates that they are a good candidate for admissions to the UC, but the message could be more explicit.

Yes. The writer conveys the sequence of events in a clear and organized way, and they use good metrics to show the impact of their videos.

Key Takeaways

Did you catch our golden rules throughout? Yep. That’s what makes these essays stand out, and that’s what’ll make your essays stand out, too.

And even though these essays come from different students, hopefully you also got a sense of how an admissions officer reads a portfolio of essays for a single student.

Remember: just like your other applications, your overall goal for your UC application is to create a cohesive application narrative that shows your core strengths.

Having read all these essays, you’re now well on your way to writing your own. Try jumping into the Essay Academy or our UC essay writing guide  for help getting started.

Liked that? Try this next.

21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

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Office of Enrollment, Admissions and Student Service Center

AUC Avenue, P.O. Box 74 New Cairo 11835, Egypt  t:  20.2.2615.4040  Working Hours   9 am - 3 pm Working Hours During Ramadan   9 am - 2 pm 

For Inquiries: [email protected] For Feedback: [email protected]

School of Continuing Education, Enrollment Services 24 El Falaki Street Bab El Louk, P.O. Box 2511 Cairo 11511, Egypt 

t  20.2.2797.6853 [email protected]

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